So very, very happy with the photos. Our photographer, Lara Luz, was brilliant. She’s incredibly skillful at capturing people in the moment. There are photos of me in our gallery that I don’t even remember her taking. She’s a ninja photographer!
So here are a few of the 441 photos (!!!) from our wedding.
And then there’s this… This absolutely brilliant slideshow (with music!) that Lara has put together.
Right now I’m on my way to Paris. I’m sitting in bus class on a Malaysia Airlines A380. It’s dark out (even though my laptop is telling me it’s 10am Melbourne time). I have a feeling this is going to be a rather sketchy post as I’m pretty tired but I’ve only had about four/five hours sleep – I think. It’s been a really long day!
Still, having fun playing with the seat and working out what all the settings do.
So, 18 months in the planning and the wedding just flew by. I woke up on the day feeling very grumpy – mostly because I was so nervous. I’m not good under pressure and this felt like a whole lot of pressure. Actually, that’s not true. I’m great under pressure in most situations but this was one I had no clue how to deal with. Except by being grumpy and irritable. And then deciding to clean my BMC, which has been sadly neglected for about six weeks.
The flowers were duly collected and I was shocked at how heavy my bouquet was. I think it had about 40 roses in it and it had some serious heft to it. I would’ve concussed someone if I’d thrown it. But I was never going to do that, I was always going to keep it. It was utterly stunning though and I’m glad I went with something simple. Enormous but simple.
The hairdresser and make-up artist arrived. And it was all systems go from then on. It took a lot longer than I thought it would. I’m surprised I managed to sit still for that long. But they both did a brilliant job. I looked like a proper 1920s lady.
Finally the moment arrived. We all piled into my dad’s Subaru and off we went! I flat-out refused to spend any money on hiring a car when we didn’t need one. We weren’t going anywhere else for the photos/reception and I only had one bridesmaid so it’s not like we needed a limo or anything. It was a bit weird though. I’ve never been one of those girls who plan their wedding to minute detail but I’m pretty sure when I did think about it, it didn’t include rocking up in a Subaru station wagon.
I was about 20 minutes early. Kinda sucks being early to your own wedding and you have to hide from everyone. The plan had been to spend a few moments with Richard before the ceremony started but that was thwarted by a determined photographer who was racing about. So I hid out in the bridal retreat with my bridesmaid and waited for the minute to tick by.
And then we were married. It went by in a flash. The celebrant was funny and put on a real show. Nice things were said about us. We did the obligatory legal bit, exchanged vows and gave each other rings. And that was that – we were married. Well, technically you’re not married until you sign the paperwork but you get the picture. Loads of photos were taken, we didn’t have to climb up the scary spiral staircase to the attic for any because mother nature was kind to us and gave us a beautiful sunny day.
Food was consumed, wine and beer was drunk. The cake was cut. People talked and mingled. There was no dancing (which was a bit of a shame) but we simply ran out of time. It was amazing how quickly the time passed and I didn’t get to talk to nearly as many people as I probably should’ve. Then it was all over and we were whisked away by our photographer to our hotel. Another hours’ worth of photography and then we were finally on our own.
Husband and wife.
I’m still getting my head around the fact that I’m married. Five years ago I was adamant I’d never get married. It just didn’t seem like it was in the cards for me. But now, here I am – a married woman. I have a husband! I must admit I love seeing the wedding band on his finger.
All the movies and tv shows tell us that getting married is supposed instantly fix any problems that you have as a couple and that you’ll be so in love it’s ridiculous. But for me, it feels like nothing is different. We didn’t really have any problems in the first place, I was a rather reluctant bride who was more looking forward to the marriage then the wedding and we were pretty lovey-dovey beforehand. I’m not sure what’s supposed to change or what’s meant to be different now.
It was pointed out during the ceremony that things happened really fast between us and it’s true. We were engaged after about nine months and married at just over two years together. But as the celebrant said – you get to certain age and you’re pretty certain about the things you don’t want in a partner. You have a much better idea of what you’re looking for and if you’re lucky enough to find it, why not get married?
I also think that if we hadn’t gotten married now, we probably wouldn’t have. We’d have been just as happy living together in our house (last time I saw it, it had the frame for the third floor!) and never worried about it. And I think our relationship would’ve been exactly the same. Being married doesn’t change your relationship. If it was shaky beforehand, it’s going to be just as shaky afterwards. If it was solid, it’ll still be solid. Having a nice piece of paper that says you’re legally tied to each other is still just a piece of paper.
Anya: Okay. For the last time. I, Anya, want to marry you, Xander, because I love you and I’ll always love you. And before I knew you, I was like a completely different person. Not even a person, really. And I had seen what love could do to people, and it was hurt and sadness. Alone was better. And then, suddenly there was you, and… you knew me. You saw me, and it was this… thing. You make me feel safe and warm. So, I get it now. I finally get love, Xander. I really do.
Hell’s Bells, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, season 6, ep 6.
Yup, I’m gettin’ hitched in six days.
So…. in April last year I announced I was engaged (and had gotten engaged in the most romantic city in the world – Paris). And that was it. I haven’t mentioned it since. Which is kinda weird considering it’s such a monumental thing.
In 13 days, I’ll be getting married.
I’m a somewhat reluctant bride. I love the idea of being married, that makes me really happy. But I’m very ambivalent about this whole wedding thing. I’ve never enjoyed being the centre of attention. And a wedding is all about that. I’m suppose to fluttering about, hugely excited about this very fact and I’m the exact opposite of that. I love my wedding dress but I quickly got sick of the whole getting it fitted process. I can’t wait to wear it but I’m worried about getting in and out of it. It’s not a step-into dress, it’s an over-the-head dress which complicates the hair and make-up process. And speaking of that – I’m trying to be excited about having people fuss over me, doing my make-up and hair but I’m simply not.
I’ve found the whole process of organising a wedding stressful. I’ve had so many comments about how organised I am so I must be putting out this placid, calm vibe but really, it’s a frenzy of activity. No one really tell you how much needs to be organised and how, towards the end, it will suck up all of your free time. It’s exhausting.
So yeah, I guess I’ve become very negative when it comes to the wedding. I figure I should do something about that and start focusing what’s good about it. Because really, it’s not about the wedding – it’s all about what happens afterwards.
It took me a long time to rid myself of the stupid idea of there being “the one”. I realise now that the best we can hope for when it comes to relationships and marriage is to find someone who you really like as a person. I’m lucky enough to have found that, especially considering I’m a cranky old lady these days.
I dunno… maybe I’ve finally worked out that real success in relationships comes from being willing to be open and truly yourself. And that you have to be willing to properly communicate with each other without getting angry. And I guess that other big thing is acceptance. I feel accepted by him, he doesn’t judge me. Even we when first got together that I have his total support. He lets me do my own thing yet also makes me like I have someone who will catch me if it all goes wrong. I’m not sure I’ve ever had that before. I hope he feels that I give him the same level of support.
So, perhaps that’s what I should be focusing one when it comes to the wedding. It’s where the rest of our relationship starts.