It doesn’t feel quite real but this time next month, I’ll be in California. Right now, I’m having problems believing that I’m really going. I’ve bought all my flights and I’ve got American cash in my drawer at home but it doesn’t feel real yet.
The last few months have been a bit bumpy for me so maybe that’s affecting my attitude towards this trip. Part of me is so excited about going but another part isn’t so sure. It’s a strange way to feel. Unlike last time where it was all new and I had to find out how to do things, this time I’ve got a much better idea of what I’m doing. There’s still an element of the unknown (going to different cities) but it’s much less than last time where I had no clue at all. I also wonder if it’s because I know I really shouldn’t be going. I’m not going to have half the money I had last time, which is a little alarming. Hhhmm… does this mean I feel guilty about going? I don’t know.
Still, I’m really glad I’m going. It’s going to be a huge treat for me and I am so excited to be catching up with my American peeps. I know that I’d rather have the debt and the great memories than regret not going.