So, what happens now?

I’ve been thinking a lot about what happened to me on Saturday. The ride definitely won’t go down as my best and I’m still baffled as to how I managed to finish the ride. 80% of me was saying stop, stop, stop, stop!! so I have no idea how the 20% managed to override this and get me to the finish line.

My default position seems to be one of not having any faith in myself. I don’t believe I can do things yet when it comes to the crunch, I somehow manage to pull what feels like a super-human effort out of the bag and do it. I defy myself every time. The proof is there that I can do but I still have the mindset that I can’t. I’m not sure how to change this apart from simply setting myself challenges that I don’t think I can achieve and crashing through them.

I always told myself that I’m a terrible climber but on Saturday I powered past so many people, including guys who I thought should’ve been able to kick my butt. Rode past plenty of people who’d totally given in and were walking up the climb. If nothing else, at least the climb didn’t defeat me. A few months ago it probably would’ve.

80% of me wanted to stop. And I mean it really wanted me to stop. I was in so much pain. I really don’t know how the 20% that was determined to finish managed to shove the majority out of the way and struggle on through to the end. I suppose in the end what it came down to was that I didn’t want to revert to old behaviours which was to quit as soon as it got hard.

In the end, Lance Armstrong summed it up best: Pain is temporary, quitting is forever.

2 Thoughts on “So, what happens now?

  1. Lauren, you have summed it up. You underestimate your ability. Which, in itself is not a bad thing in moderation. You ARE a strong rider, stronger than a lot of people I know. Where to from here? Keep setting goals, each one a bit tougher. We must do Donna! (then Baw Baw, then Buffalo etc, etc…. 😉 Enjoy the ride.

    • lauren on March 31, 2011 at 22:34 said:

      I must admit that I often feel like I’m the slowest rider in our little group. Sometimes it feels like I’m going “hey!! wait for me!!” Not that that’s necessarily a bad thing. If I’m always trying to keep it, it’ll make me stronger.

      And well, I also really missed you all on the ride. Towards the end when I was really suffering, I knew that if any of you had done the ride with me, there would’ve been someone with me offering words of encouragement. Plus I know you wouldn’t have let me quit!

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Post Navigation