Monthly Archives: December 2014

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2014 in 40 questions

1. What did you do in 2014 that you’d never done before?
Got pregnant! Well, I could’ve been pregnant before but not known about it. It stuck this time.

Also moved into a house that I’m co-owner of.

2. Did you keep your new year resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Eh. Who needs them?

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
My team lead had a gorgeous baby girl in September.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No thankfully.

5. What countries did you visit?
None. Sigh. And it’s going to be awhile before I get to go anywhere overseas.

6. What would you like to have in 2015 that you lacked in 2014?
Less stress? Hah! As if that’s going to happen once the baby is born.

7. What date from 2014 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
September 17 – the day I got hit by a car riding to work. I couldn’t tell you what day I discovered I was pregnant (late July I think or maybe very early August) but I can tell you roughly what time I had my accident – somewhere between 8 – 8.30am.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Walking up a flight of stairs at the hospital so I could go home after being there for four days. I was so weak, in so much pain but so freaken determined to go home that I did it. My knee had only started working properly the day before and I probably should’ve stayed in the hospital for longer but I couldn’t hack it any more.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Blaming myself for the accident because I felt strongly that I could’ve/should’ve done more to avoid it. Which is stupid because the car driver ran a red light.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
See question seven.

Oh… I think I got a cold early in the year. Can’t really remember.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
My girly, pinky-red Allegro step-thru. Having it means I can still ride a bike because it forces me to slow down and ride at a level I can actually sustain. Also means I’m way more up-right. One of my xmas presents was a cherry-wood basket for the rear rack so I don’t have to worry about carrying a backpack.

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
The two guys who sat on the road at my side while I was lying there after my accident. One faced towards me so I could see his face and quietly talked to me while the other sat behind me and let me hold his hand and squeeze the bejesus out of it when I needed it – especially when the ambos had to splint my arm to get me off the road.

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
It’s a tie between Tony Abbot for all his appalling sexist behaviour (yes, I’m so much better off because he got the carbon tax repealed), Scott Morrison for disgusting behaviour towards asylum seekers and refugees and Chris Pyne who I just want to punch in the face every time he opens his mouth. Oh… and there’s his higher education reforms which I’m hoping never get through.

And then there’s always smokin’ Joe Hockey too and his endless gaffes and idiotic statements that would be funny if it wasn’t our federal treasurer saying them.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Erm… not so sure this year. I know I’ve bought a fair bit of cycling gear when I don’t really need it. But Rapha finally introduced their women’s city riding range and it was too nice to not buy something…

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Well, I pretty excited when I discovered I was pregnant. I had some trouble getting down the stairs whilst clutching the test in my hand because my legs didn’t want to work.

16. What song will always remind you of 2014?
Hhmm… none?

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? probably about the same.
ii. thinner or fatter? Well, I’m definitely bigger around the middle at the moment but that would be because I’m growing a whole new human being!
iii. richer or poorer? about the same.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Loads more riding! Now that I can’t, I really miss it. I hate the fact that my bikes are sitting there waiting for me and I can’t just jump on them and go for a ride. It’s been a slow recovery from the broken arm which means it’s been a long time between rides.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Broken my arm? Does that count? It was something that was done to me so maybe not.

20. How did you spend Christmas?
At home. We had two friends come over for lunch. Lunch was so yummy.

21. What was your favorite month of 2014?
To be honest, this year has kinda all blurred together. It’s a been a year of ups and downs.

22. Did you fall in love in 2014?
Can’t do that if you already are 😉

23. How many one-night stands?

24. What was your favourite TV programme?
Vikings. We used to watch it and Game of Thrones to see which would be more violent and/or bloody. I think it ended up being a tie.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Nope. Hate is a pretty wasteful so why put any energy towards it?

26. What was the best book you read?
The Art of Asking; or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Let People Help by Amanda Palmer. I just finished reading it and it was really good. I found it to be really thoughtful and she put forth some really interesting ideas whilst challenging the idea that asking for help means that you’re weak and incapable of taking care of yourself – which patently isn’t true.

It was also far more personal than I thought it would be and I felt like I learnt a lot about her that I didn’t know.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
There wasn’t one.

28. What did you want and get?
Pregnant! LOL

30. What was your favourite film of this year?
Guardians of the Galaxy. It was really good fun and dancing baby Groot was the most adorable thing I’ve seen all year.

However, we’re off to see Birdman on NYE and I hear it’s very good.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Is it terrible that i can’t remember what I did on my birthday? It was on a Monday so I know I wasn’t at work. Richard took me to Ezard for dinner on the Saturday night before which was lovely. I turned 42.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
We were told in April that we’d be moving into our house in May. Then it was “another month” every time we asked for six months. I was getting pretty anxious when it got to November and we still hadn’t heard anything – I really didn’t want to contemplate having to move after I’d had the baby.

Then Richard got a phone call saying everything was finally sorted out and that we’d be able to settle on the house and move in. It was incredibly frustrating though.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2014?
I spent $400 on a pair of grown-up heels. (Now I’m worried that they won’t fit me – apparently your feet can increase a size whilst pregnant and not return to their original size once you’ve given birth!)

34. What kept you sane?
Having a stable home life. Having a place were you feel secure and happy makes all the difference in the world.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
The changes to higher education got me quite angry and I was very relieved when they got voted down. But apparently they’re going to persist with them which is depressing.

37. Who did you miss?
I’ve really missed my co-worker Julia who moved to a new job in July. Sigh.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
Is it terrible that I can’t think of anyone who really stands out?

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2014
That you can never say never. Only a few years ago I was swearing black and blue that I’d never get married and that I’d definitely never have kids. Uh huh… right.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
I can never think of anything for this one.

Because it’s that time of year again…

I know, I know. I put the same song up every year but it’s most definitely my kind of xmas song. And hey, I’m starting my own tradition!!

Much love to those I hold dear, both near and far. Be good to each other 🙂

Well, hello there!

20 week scan has been and gone. According to the doctor who did the scan, she’s perfect. Which I’m assuming means not too big and not too small, growth-wise with an excellent blood flow through her heart. Her brain has two spheres and was all there 😛

She was pretty active during the scan too which is always nice to see. Except for when we tried to get a profile shot and she kept showing us her spine (which was kinda freaky).

This was the best profile we got. My little fidgeter 🙂

So much for me being all zen about my accident

Time to admit it.

I am really angry about it. As in really, really fucking angry.


I guess it all came to head for me when we went up to Bright for our annual cycling-eating-drinking extended long weekend with a big group of friends and I had to sit by and watch everyone else having a grand old time conquering mountains and spending serious time on the bike.

Me? I barely managed a 40km ride. I had to be pushed up a small rise that was maybe 250m long because I couldn’t get up it on my own. (Don’t get me wrong – I am eternally grateful for that push because otherwise I would’ve had to have gotten off and walked.) Yes, it was awesome being on my bike again but the next day I regretted it. My arm was so painful and it took a few days for me to recover. I don’t believe it set back my overall recovery but it was just so frustrating. I really felt like I should’ve been doing so much more and I couldn’t. All because some stupid woman ran a red light and hit me.

Okay, yes I’m pregnant so there’s no way I was going to be riding up even the smallest mountain. I knew that, accepted it but I had been looking forward to doing what I was capable of – which would’ve been a lot of flat(ish) rides. I should’ve been able to do so much more than a pissy 40km.

I know I should be grateful. My injury really isn’t that serious. When you think about what could’ve happened, I really did get off lightly. I could’ve fracture my pelvis, suffered a serious head injury, internal bleeding or I could’ve miscarried but all I did was break my arm. I should be grateful but I’m not. I feel like I’ve lost so much.

Those weeks should’ve been about me whinging about morning sickness and getting some sympathy for that. I should’ve excited about being pregnant. It should’ve been about me doing what I needed to do to stay fit and still riding my bike. But no, I spent weeks lying in bed because I couldn’t do anything else. I’d wake up in pain and go to sleep in pain. It took weeks for it to get to a tolerable level so I could try to get my life back on track.

I wanted to do what I could to stay fit in the hope that it’d help me have a reasonable birth experience and a faster recovery. I know the shortness of breath I experience these days is because my diaphragm is being squashed but that doesn’t mean I have to like it! I can’t help but think if my accident hadn’t happened, stuff like this would be a bit easier

I was initially quite zen about the whole thing but I realise now that I am really angry about it. I’m angry about being in pain so much of time. I’m irritated about the fact that when I wake up in the morning I have to be careful about how I stretch because if I do it wrong, it’s a whole world of pain. I’m angry that my rehab will take so long and that even when it’s done and I’ve “recovered”, I still won’t have full functionality. My arm is never going to be 100% ever again.

I’m just generally pissed about the whole thing.

It really feels like the last three months have been so chaotic. Nothing has been normal. My calendar is full of medical appointments and little else (okay, the baby-related appointments are pretty exciting and make for a nice change). While I am making progress – I’ve gone from being able to not lift my arm at all to to about 130 degrees in front of me – it feels like it’s taking forever and it’s hard to not get frustrated by how slow progress is. I can’t really reach backwards at all and I’m still restricted in how high I can lift my arm to the side. It’s a slow, painful process.

As petulant as this will sound, I always end up thinking that this shouldn’t have happened to me and that is just so unfair (see, petulant – next I’ll be stamping my foot). I guess the problem is that before I didn’t really have time to be angry. I was so focused on dealing with the pain I didn’t have room in my head for anything else. Now I do have time and I’ve pretty much lost my zen attitude. I want for it to be done. I’m so over it and that makes me angry.